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the deluded informer
[satire, parody, and disinformation]
January 25th, 2001 -Issue 1, Version 2- [articles archive]

Breaking News!
Teenage Girl Reports Howie D. Is "Sooo Cute"
Thousands of reporters were flocking to Butte, Montana today for the media event of the century. They were there to record a startling revelation made by 13 year old student Becky Williams. "Howie D. is sooo cute," she announced, amid a flurry of questions. Many pundits have been predicting this for years, but now some hard evidence has come into the light.

Right: His Cuteness Cannot Be Denied, Reports Girl.

Taste Test Panel Unable to Distinguish Between Bush, Gore
As a nation of cola drinkers, America has always prided itself as having impeccable taste in such fine items as Texas Round Steak, California Wine, and laminated wall hangings. But now a recent study done by Waterhouse Group has uncovered a shocking truth that may split America at the very core--Americans cannot distinguish between Bush and Gore in taste tests.

Right: Don't Blame Us For Your Tastebuds.

Clinton Pot Party Nearly Ruined By Janet Reno
According to a new book, "The Things I Have Seen", ex-President Clinton, along with several of his Cabinet members and staffers, had a close call during his first term when Attorney General Janet Reno walked into the Oval Office as the group was enjoying a taste of high-grade marijuana.

Right: Wake Up Next To That In The Morning.
Janet Reno

Limp Bizkit Fans Lack Intelligence Music is the ultimate symbol, stretching across all forms of media, and appealing to a wide variety of people. Many have said that "all music is artistic", from the screaming atmospherics of Sonic Youth to the crotch-fixated melodies of Lionel Ritchie. Sadly, this is not the case for Limp Bizkit. The jock-rap-rock formula they employ is tired, and the only explanation for their popularity is simple--"Limp Bizkit fans lack intelligence".
Right: Fred Durst is not cool.
Fred Durst

Letter from the Editor: Delusions of Grandeur? Never!

Nouveaux Sounds: 10 Minutes With DJ Calmik

New Feature: Death Threats Against Me, Analysed

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