-articles-	[file under: insulting, vile, just plain offensive.]
Anti-Drug cartoon character arrested Anti-Spam Laws passed in America Apple sues McGwire over copyright infringement Bouchard turns to desparate measures Brave police dog eats criminal Buying Products is "the Key to Happiness" Clinton Pot Party Nearly Ruined By Janet Reno Corporations take over the world Limp Bizkit Fans Lack Intelligence Man records largest "dump" ever Marilyn Manson pregnant: Bill Clinton Suspected New IBM computer "looks really cool" Old Dirty Bastard Arrested Yet Again Plato read for personal enjoyment Recent Study Shows: God doesn't Exist Russians find creative uses for devalued ruble Schools computer lounge filled with 'Dweebs' Special Report--Sesame Street Sex Scandal Student claims "My hemp plant wanted me to smoke it" Study determines "Oxygen is Poisonous" Taste Test Panel Unable to Distinguish Between Bush, Gore Teenage Girl Reports Howie D. Is "Sooo Cute" Two guys watch movies and drink beer "often" Ugly girl has "Great Personality" Waldo found dead--nobody cares Wilford Brimley gaining respect
-commentary-	[Pond scum we scrape off our meager brains for your consumption.]
I want to get in her pants Babies make great stew! Smokey the Bear can bite me I am the Harbormaster Letter from the Editor: Holiday Shout-outs! Letter from the Editor: Delusions of Grandeur? Never!
-survey-	[public opinion, mob rule, crowds chanting, the soap box]
Should Kevin Bacon be killed? Are chevys really "like a rock"? Does Hamburger Helper really help? Does this "turn you on"?
-etc.-	[miscellaneous droppings]
Cartoon of the Week: Our Dominant Culture Music!!! - Kellie (For You) by Slushie's Snackpit Nouveaux Sounds- 10 Minutes with DJ Calmik Death Threats Against Me, Analysed
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