[satire, parody, and disinformation]
|November 10th, 1998 -Issue 3, Version 1- [articles archive]|
Man records largest "dump" ever
Local bricklayer Darren Stailfoot shocked the world today by taking the largest "dump" ever accomplished by a human being. This momentous occasion was recorded live, for posterity, by television cameras, radio coverage, and the Guiness Book of World Records. Stailfoot, aged 21 years old, proved that fiber is truly "the food that makes the bowels move," by filling a bathtub with his own human excrement.
Right: An operation to monitor Mr. Stailfoots bowels.
Wilford Brimley gaining respect
Wilford Brimley is finally gaining respect outside the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. A mass throng of fans, including hundreds of teenage girls, congregated at his Hollywood hills home on Sunday, to pay homage to the man.
Right: Wilford has gained popularity thanks to his Quaker Oats commercials.
Apple sues McGwire over copyright infringement
Apple Computers Inc. has issued a court order over use of the "Mac" nickname against baseball player Mark McGwire. The power slugger, who beat the single season homerun record this year by hitting 70 homeruns, is often referred to as "Power Mac", "Mac" and even "iMac".
Right: McGwire has broken records: now can he break these allegations?
New IBM computer "looks really cool"
IBM has announced plans this week to build a new type of computer; one which is "cool to look at." Although the components of the system will remain the same, it will be aesthetically appealing and stylish, with "fancy colors" and "neat shapes." The computer has yet to be named, although some analysts think it will be called "Model E."
Right: IBM is trying to satisfy the need for "cool looking computers"
Commentary:Smokey the Bear can bite me
Survey:Does Hamburger Helper really help?
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