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the deluded informer
-offensive, ignorant, immature, and proud of it-

October 14th, 1998 -Issue 1, Version 1-

Student claims "My hemp plant wanted me to smoke it"
Baffled students at the Pabos Senior High were taken aback by the comments of their fellow classmate Mr. Kurt MacNab last Friday when he appeared in class in an absent minded state, staring blankly into space as if he was "brain-dead". MORE:
Right: Marijuana has been known to "buzz people right out".
Cannabis

Recent Study Shows: God doesn't Exist
Researchers at Stanford University have stumbled upon a new discovery: "God doesn't fucking exist". They came to this conclusion after praying to God in an experiment spanning several months, in which they prayed around the clock, waiting for an answer. MORE:
Right: Angels, supposedly God's servants, don't exist either.
Angel

Plato read for personal enjoyment
Local authorities are baffled by a recent occurence at the Gaspé CEGEP library, in which Plato's "The Republic" was taken out for personal enjoyment". "We just don't understand it: the youth in question didn't have to read it,he just wanted to!", said Ednus Tyney, local librarian of 20 years. MORE:
Right: Plato, greek philosopher, and general, all around nice guy.
Plato

Ugly girl has "Great Personality"
Local area girl Jayne Weatherspoon, pictured right, has been reported to be a "very kind, nice person."She also happens, coincidentally, to be hideously ugly. Her apparent ugliness doesn't seem to affect her kind disposition, which is quite odd.MORE:
Right: Jayne Weatherspoon, "hideously ugly" yet surprisingly kind.
Ugly Girl

Commentary:I want to get in her pants

Survey:Should Kevin Bacon be killed?

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