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-The Deluded Informer, Tuesday November 10th-
By Philip Shearing:

New IBM computer "looks really cool"

Cupertino, California: IBM has announced plans this week to build a new type of computer; one which is "cool to look at." Although the components of the system will remain the same, it will be aesthetically appealing and stylish, with "fancy colors" and "neat shapes." The computer has yet to be named, although some analysts think it will be called "Model E."

Model E will come in several varieties; each type of case will be geared at the different segments of the market. For the baby boomers, there will be a tie-dyed case, with psychadelic colors and flowers engraved on the sides. Jaded generation-x buyers will be targeted with a drab, gray case, shaped like a question mark. It will have various slogans painted onto the sides, including "Anarchy!" and "F*ck tha police, bitches!". In all cases, the same substandard parts will be used; Model E's will neither be upgradable nor expandable.

Apple Computer is largely credited with starting the fashion revolution for computers; their iMac, with its purple and transparent case, has appealed to the fashion sense of computer buyers, worldwide.

"IBM is proud to announce the arrival of its new marketing strategy; to appeal to the greatest of the senses, vision, by looking really cool," said Mark Allen, President of Marketing at IBM. "We are sure that consumers will be compelled to buy our product, basing their decision on how the case of the computer looks."

In research conducted by Lemmon Craig Inc., respondents were asked what they saw as most important in buying a computer system. The survey showed that how the case looks visually is the most important criteria to them. According to their profiles, the majority of those tested had little or no sense of how computers work, and even fewer of them cared.

Hewlett-Packard Inc. is reportedly developing its own case style, with all manners of shapes and colors being discussed. Compaq is reportedly taking an alternate route, abolishing the case altogether. Future Compaqs will just be a pile of wires, silicon chips, and peripherals, with nothing holding them together but wires and little strands of spider webs.

The jury is out on whether IBM will seize market share with this foray into the fashion market. With competitors are growing in power, IBM will have to design a case that meets the style needs of the consumer, while still providing an original viewing experience to everyone.

"It is about time someone in the computer industry realises what's important to the computer user," said Kelly Wearing, IT professional. "We want a computer with a case that matches our mauve blinds in the kitchen, yet which doesn't clash with the carpet in the den."

New Cases
Consumers should go wild for the freakish new case designs on new P.C.'s

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