[an error occurred while processing this directive]
-The Deluded Informer, Tuesday November 10th-
Tommy Hilfiger advertised in "National Enquirer"

New York, NY: In a multi-million dollar advertising deal, Tommy Hilfiger has begun advertising in national tabloid "The National Enquirer." This is reportedly part of an effort to reach the lower levels of society: a press release from Tommy Hilfiger states, "We are seeking to provide clothing to those less fortunate than us, particularly inbred, small town yokels with little or no sense of style."

The advertisments in question will be placed strategically throughout the tabloid, specifically on the same pages as "Ask Serena Sabak" and articles on "weight loss products." This is most likely part of Tommy's marketing strategy, which hopes to assume control of the poor, low class market.

The market potential of such a campaign has much promise: in the past, sales of trailers, cheap beer, and "Jerry Springer" videotapes have been directly influenced by their exposure in tabloid markets. Studies have shown that the average Enquirer reader is "unemployed, backward, nearly or completely illiterate, and lacking in basic knowledge of today's issues." It seems that Tommy Hilfiger is aiming to serve this portion of the population.

Reader's reactions to the advertising have been fairly standard so far. "I look'd at that there thing in ma trailer jus' the other day..." said Belinda Hank, typical southerner. "I gotta get me some 'a those," she mumbled, munching on a kit-kat.

In what analysts are calling a "market grab", Tommy Hilfiger has begun a new line of clothing, specifically developed with the Enquirer crowd in mind: "White Trash Gear". Made from genuine potato sacks and the hides of roadkill, "White Trash Gear" promises to steal market share from Sears and Wal-Mart.

This strategy has been used to flog other clothing in the past. Levi's began advertising on "Hee Haw" in August and Gap placed a prominent ad in "Guns and Ammo" last June. Both companies saw 150% increases in sales to hillbillies, white trash, and southerners everywhere.

Tommy Hilfiger
Tommy Hilfiger, maker of designer clothing, apparel, and cheesy commercials.

1998 The Deluded Informer. This is a Satirical publication, published twice a month, intended for humour only. All Rights Reserved.