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-The Deluded Informer, Tuesday October 27th-
By Philip Shearing:
Schools computer lounge filled with 'Dweebs'

Grand River, Quebec: Grand River High School's computer lounge has been filled with ‘dweebs' recently, according to Timothy Gailwither and Gerald Praise. They were alarmed by the odd assortment of freaks, losers, and ‘weirdos', especially since they were forced to share living space with them.

It is a known fact that a vast majority of individuals who spend time in computer rooms suffer from various social disorders. They also tend to display pathetic physical appearances. According to two educated scholars, this fact is true: something crucial needs to be done. The status of normal people in computer is at stake.

The students in question, Timothy Gailwither and Gerald Praise, have been constantly spending every waking hour in the computer room at the Grand River High School for Intellectuals. It is, according to their opinion, "...due time that cool people start to use the school computers for their personal enjoyment." They also added, "We are sick and tired of constantly being in the presence of all these dweeb-like, freaky-looking social outcasts."

Gerald, was logged onto the internet during this particular interview. He was checking his e mail and at the same time visiting a Pro Wrestling site. " Now... isn't this cool?" he asked, as he started to read all the rumours that were concerning the next large pay-per-view event being displayed by the WWF. Timothy pointed out, " This is what we want all the cool people at our school to do. It is about time that all the other dweebs who use the computer room realize that they are way too freaky to be out in public."

These two intellectual ‘wannabes' are seeking to fill the local computer rooms with as many cool people as possible. "No more dweebs, there is just no use for them," Timothy grumbled, when asked what was wrong with the ‘dweebs'. It is quite clear by the flare in their eyes that they mean business and will not rest a second before the objective is attained.

They went on to add that by filling the rooms with cool people they would surely make many new and interestingly cool friends, not more of those damn dweebs. This would present them with the chance to become acquainted with appealingly gorgeous females with heavenly bodies. They are not interested in the type who suffer from unpredictable mood swings and who stare for hours at a computer screen, without making the slightest movement, or any attempt to start a conversation.

"Keep the boys and girls who are socially damned from any use of computer rooms. P.C.'s are the true path to enlightenment. Who could live without them?" This author certainly couldn't.

This woman knows the meaning all too well what it is to be a 'dweeb'

©1998 The Deluded Informer. This is a Satirical publication, published twice a month, intended for humour only. All Rights Reserved.